With pregnancy come quite a few surprises. For someone who tried for a long time to actually get pregnant, I thought I was fairly prepared for what it would be like if by the miracle of god it happened. (Thank you, Universe!) While it's marvellous and miraculous in every way however, there are many (often uncomfortable and embarrassing) surprises that come with it.
Here's a list of straight-up stuff that no-one told me!
Gas Station - You fart. All. The. Time! Sometimes you're loaded up with gas and it won't actually come out so you walk around like a helium balloon hoping it doesn't erupt at some inopportune time.
Burp Alert - From the moment I wake up, I'm burping. Air is everywhere. It's amazing I'm not floating.
Ouch, WTF!? - Round ligament pain strikes in the second trimester. For me, it's any sudden movement such as getting up off the couch or rolling over in the middle of the night that might cause an almighty pain that feels like I may have torn a muscle. That's just your body expanding for baby in its own special way.
Misbehaving Breasts - Get ready for shooting/stabbing pains in your boobs. Yes, really. So painful it wakes you at night and you quite fancy punching someone in the face it makes you that mad. Mine also got lumpy and was slight cause for concern. A biopsy showed 'normal lactational changes'. In fact most breast lumps during pregnancy are benign, but it's worth mentioning to your OB or midwife and opting for a sonogram to be sure. About the only thing my boobs haven't done, is grow. Which is all I really want them to do!
Back it up - Constipation is a true beast during pregnancy. For me, it began at around 13 weeks and hasn't let up yet, nearly seven weeks later. I'm well hydrated, upped my fibre intake (in between pasta dishes, I admit) and eat prunes every morning. Whatever. Take the laxative!
Nap Attack - In the first trimester, honestly I have never been so exhausted in my life. I'm talking needing to go back to bed two hours after getting up. And then napping again in the afternoon. I definitely have more energy now, but will still take a nap when I can get one.
Fitness Fail - A walk around the block will leave you breathless. Apparently it's all that extra blood running through your body. Blood volume will increase around 50% in a normal healthy woman. Walking up the stairs is a real feat!
Sex Dreams - These can be quite obscene. Enough said.
What Did I Do?! - I have anxiety dreams-slash-nightmares about everything from driving too fast to going out and getting drunk. I always wake up feeling guilty after these dreams. Apparently it's normal. Just your subconscious telling you life is about to change rather dramatically! And possibly I'm craving a glass of wine.
Despite all these social inhibitors, I wouldn't change a thing about having this little babe flipping around inside me. x